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I was having the surgery that rebuilt my shoulder. To think that a year has passed already – time has certainly flown by.

At precisely this time last year I was probably being pulled about like an antelope being fed on by lions as the surgeon yanked my body one way while other people were pulling on my arm to try to get the bones aligned (I dunno cos I was unconscious at the time), before he began the painstaking task of sewing together bits of mush with hard lumps in them (smushed bone and flesh in case you were wondering). He’d make a great dressmaker, really he would, his sewing skills are phenomenal.

A lot has happened since then. I had a Christmas where I couldn’t open my presents. I had arguments with clinic staff because the dressings kept falling off and because I couldn’t get to the clinics in my council area so had to go to others, oh, and because I refused an appointment on new years day. I began what should have been a very long and painful road of physio, but what was in fact a short but very painful road of physio – I should most likely still be having physio now, but regained all movement and strength within a very short 3 months so was discharged in March. I was back on the bike a short 4 months after surgery. I am the terminator. No, not really, but I do have a metal plate that’ll be in me for life.

I’m now well on the way to having full feeling in the shoulder and arm as that was compromised during surgery. It’s a long slow process, but I’m ecstatic with how it’s progressing considering I was told that the feeling I’d lost could be permanent.

I’m now focussing on scar management to stop it getting lumpy and ugly. What I’m doing is helping slowly but surely. It hurts a lot as there’s no fat between the plate and my skin, just what feels like a hell of a lot of nerves that work! But the massage I’m doing there is slowly working its magic. The deep tissue massage I have to do on my shoulder and arm is also working wonders as it’s this which stimulates the nerves into healing themselves and also teaches my brain to ignore the messages saying that it needs to over-react to the slightest touch at that area. And it’s working. It really is. But it hurts a lot when I do it. And that is what I have to get over to. And I will.

As a result of the accident I am now a more cautious rider; I need to be. I corner a lot slower than I used to, I’m slower in the wet, hell I’m slower full stop – I’m probably on a par with a tortoise. I haven’t ridden at all since the weather turned much colder with the risk of ice. All because I need to still protect that shoulder until I have everything back to 100% or as near as it’ll be. Even then I might still be a mite more cautious than I used to be purely because of the fact that the collar-bone is now more at risk of catastrophe than it ever has been. I mean, they haven’t perfected the replacement collar-bone yet. Have they?

The biking has been pretty poor this year, which is to be expected. But, when you get told that you may never be able to ride in the drops again or even ride a bike full stop, I’ll take every little step I’ve made and I’ll hold it up there with pride.It has taken a lot of hard work and determination to get back to where I am now. There’s a lot left to do to get anywhere near where I was fitness wise, both mentally and physically and I intend to get it back; maybe not all of it, but I’ll damn well give it a good try. I can quite happily say that next year will be my comeback year. I hope to race at the Velodrome for my club again – the guys have asked if I’m going to race the last competition in our cycling year in January, but it’s too soon for me just now; I’ll be riding sportives again and I have a few lined up. I’m not expecting to beat my personal bests on anything, but just to ride them will be enough. I’m hoping to ride again with some of the great guys and gals I’ve met through my blog – Emma & Joby from up here in the North and Rafe from the South. Hell, I might even finally get to meet Phill who I’ve known through here for a few years now but our paths have never crossed. And Matt, watch out as I may well be heading down your way one day to ride with you and Rafe and maybe even the scarily fast John though I expect to be left behind before he’s even gone two yards!

So, to sum up. The past year has been shit and gradually got better. I foresee better times ahead in 2012 for me and my favourite piece of metal.

I may have spare screw holes in the plate, but you ain’t sticking candles in them!